Hosting To Heal My Insecurities

For a few days this past week we had some unexpected guest staying at our house, and I felt like a fish out of water. Uncomfortable and awkward at times as I tried to interact.

I kept wondering, :

“What do they think of our house since it’s still being updated?”

“I haven’t checked the bathroom in a few hours to see if our potty-training toddlers left urine on the toilet seat! What are they going to think if they see that?”

On the other hand, my wife Elise flowed and connected like those concerns or others weren’t even there. She displayed a level of effortless comfort with our guest that I envied.

Even when she meets people for the first time, her interactions are always so relaxed and smooth.

Later on, I asked her how she does it. How is she able to be so comfortable and relaxed with our guest or other new people that she meets?

She said (and I’m paraphrasing) ,

“if people like us for who we are, they won’t care if our house is still being updated or whatever else we worry about. If they do care about those things at the expense of the relationship, then it’s not a relationship worth having so why worry?”

Wow! Talk about a gut check.

Being comfortable and confident “in my skin” no matter what the setting is something that I’m growing in.

I hid for so long because I was afraid that who I was wouldn’t be accepted.

I’m grateful to have a wife showing me from her life that there is a better way. I need to host more to continue bringing some healing to this area.

Let me know if you want to stop by!

This Will Be Uncomfortable, But Here Goes...

As I was setting goals for 2019, I had a strong desire to keep it simple. I only wanted to focus on one thing for the entire year- personal development. 

But the more I prayed and meditated, the more I felt impressed to add another goal. I felt led to start consistently writing again. But not how I was writing before. I felt impressed to write with more emotional vulnerability about the things I was learning now.

I’ve got to be honest, I wasn’t excited about that goal. It sounded too painfully uncomfortable. I’m just now growing in my ability to recognize and share my emotions with those closest to me. How in the world could I make the jump to publish them publicly?

Regardless of my fear, I feel compelled to do this. So hear goes.

I’m commiting to post every week on Sundays by 12 noon CST for the rest of the year. They won’t be long, but they will be honest and emotionally transparent about the things I’m learning now. I’ll have to get permission from my wife before I post some things, but again my goal is vulnerability. 

If you’re reading this and you don’t receive an email by Sunday afternoon this year, you have my permission to email me here at rob@robertmacy.me to see what’s up. 

Thank you for being apart of this journey, and feel free to share any goals you’re commiting to for this year. 

Thanks! 

Don’t Be Afraid. You Can Be Cool With God.

Are you afraid that you’ve messed up too much to be ok with God?

Think again.   

Fear of my acceptance by God was a regular occurrence for me, and I’m still working to change my mindset in this area. I read read this excerpt from the Bible the other day and it’s having a continuous impact on me.

Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ, and gave us a ministry of reconciliation.
— 2 Corinthians 5:18

Through Jesus, God has in effect said, my sin no longer makes me estranged from Him.   

That’s great news for me because I still sin. Sometimes a lot.

I never have to be afraid that God is going to be done with me because of my sin though. I’ve been reconciled to Him because of Jesus’ sacrifice for good. 

The last part of that verse really gets me going.   

God reconciled with me so that I can reconcile with others and tell them that they can be reconciled with Him too.  

If someone has hurt me in some way, I don’t have to hold that over their heads. I can forgive them. I can also let them know that their sin doesn’t have to separate them from God. They can be reconciled to Him and have peace through Christ as well.

Don’t be afraid.

Believe that you’ve been forgiven and through Christ’s sacrifice have been reconciled with God once and for all.